Video games & thoughts.

The other day
as I sat with my back against the couch
legs draped over his lap.

Clicking away on the paddle
jump, run, run, jump, jump.
Leaned into me
he slept.

and as I played my video game
with, honestly, the love of my life
so close to me.

The thought occurred to me,
that I could do this.
The rest of my days
and die happy.

I was grateful
for all the

terrible
awful
painful 

moments that led me here,
to him.

Because my little boy
and him.
Were worth it
Every single second.

As if traveling on a path
struggling along
Unsure if I can do it
telling myself I can't.
Stepping on hard ground
shards of glass.

But then I got there,
I reached my destination.

The reward in the end
was the best reward of my life.
I have them.

And as the video game
beeped and booped in the background
I thought,
I could get used to this.

A.A.