breath.

After I finished my last blog post
I sat back my head against the couch
satisfied with what I had written

Cryptic code of how I was feeling
hidden between layers
of words and punctuation.

The dull buzz of my family talking in the background
Speaking of the Holidays
Whose house for this Holiday.
Whose house for that Holiday.

Even though I pretend
Even though I try to block it out
It still gets through
The sore wounds of my existence

I stand and leave the room.
Head to the bathroom.
There I close the door
Curl my knees to my chest
and place my forehead against the floor.
and

Breath.

With every breath
The tears that build deep inside me
subside

With every breath
I try to regain my silent composure

With every breath
Bring myself back to the surface
and keep myself from sinking deeper into this.

Now a days.
Instead of cry.
I breath.

A.A.