Take It All

All of my posts, I have noticed, have different emotions

Happy
Sad
Confident
This post...

Is angry...

I am so unbelievably angry right now
Words are swirling around in my head
I try to spit them out but they get stuck...
like paper to honey.
On my lips.

There is so much hate and hurt
It is as large as an ocean
An ocean I am drowning in.

I am tossing with the waves and choking
Drowning in all of this

I sit in front of my computer and edit pictures
of people
happy
in love
complete

and what do I have?
An empty house
With out anyone who cares to have me for company

and who wants my company?

Only the dust
Only the darkness

Stupidity
Stupid for ever thinking things would work out
That life would roll on
I sit here and watch him roll away and on with his life

so quickly

like it didn't happen

like I never happened

like our son never happened


But here I am...
dwelling on this and that every other day of my life.
I have always been stuck in a web
MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE.

Let me be free world!
PLEASE?!

There are so many more things
I just cant bring myself to say them

Right now.

I am angry..