Thursday, September 15, 2011

From bad to worse

So life moves on.
Moves on with out...


Sometimes I sit and wonder
if he realizes how much he is missing.
Life keeps rolling wether we like it or not 
Ronan is growing up 

Growing up with out


Ronan is eating solids 
Moving up to size 3 diapers 
Realizing the world around him
Giving kisses 
Doing funny things 

And he is missing all that 
Does he care?
Doesn't seem so. 

This little boy will grow up 
and will start realizing what is happening 
It isn't fair... 
Not to him
Not to anyone in this situation 

Yesterday was a bad day
Today was worse 

Last night I started cleaning out the storage
and you will never guess what I found?

Bits and 
pieces of him 
strung through out my home 

I got a box and started putting it all in there 
Little things of his and with every little item 
I mourned.

I mourned the loss of my marriage 
my best friend 
my sons father 

Today I woke up feeling the same way 
On the way to work 
I got a flat tire 

As I look back on it now
I am so blessed by the kindness of strangers 
A man asked if I needed help
he was able to give me a ride to my parents
where I borrowed a car 
and was on time to work 

After my dad too time off work 
and helped me with my car issue 
Even though today has been terrible 
I am learning 
Learning to be thankful for the little things 
Even when things suck so bad

Thank you.
For helping me learn.


1 comment:

  1. Alicia,
    Hang in there, sweetie! Men who do not properly shoulder their responsibilities of husband and father can make life pretty miserable for their family. The ache and feeling that it is all wrong just doesn't seem to totally go away. But, with your Heavenly Father, you should be able to get on with your life! Big hugs and much love,
    Aunt Shirley